


Birthday Present

by miskunn



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 12:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2309789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miskunn/pseuds/miskunn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Ed's birthday. EDWIN. Again, also posted over on Fanfiction. Warnings: Mustang being Mustang. Mentions of sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday Present

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after the Promised Day with a few different circumstances. Ed just coming back from the west and stopping by Central coincidentally on his 21st birthday being one of them. And he's been fooling around with WInry for a while. Nothing too explicit though, stay innocent ;)

_"One night yeah, one more time, thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories"_

It was the famous Fullmetal Alchemist's birthday and he also happened to be turning 21. The legal age for sex and alcohol. Typically, Mustang had been Mustang and decided to embarrass the brat by inviting his team and Edward down to a small pub in Central. Al was still over in Xing, studying Alkhestry with the pretty little Xingese girl that had taken a shine to him and Winry was apparently at Rush Valley according to Ed.

Mustang had to admit the kid could hold his liquor. At least two beers, a large shared bottle of whisky and several shots of tequila later had Mustang's team laughing and generally having a good time. Even Riza allowed herself some small smiles and a few laughs. Ed just smirked and rolled his eyes, acting as Ed usually did.

And then out came the presents. The thing Roy had been holding out for. The Major General smirked.

"Here," Havoc laughed, swaying drunkenly as he passed a small wrapped square to the Elric across the table. The newspaper make-shift gift wrapping was made quick work of to reveal and metal cigarette lighter. Of all things. Ed snorted, turning it in his hands, gold eyes gleaming in the soft light of the bar as he raised a cynical eyebrow.

"Sure you don't just want a new matchstick Havoc?" the 21 year old asked.

"Nah..na..nah boss," the man slurred, giggling for a second before faceplanting into the wood table. Snores were soon heard. After that Ed received a book on fire alchemy from Hawkeye (hurr hurr, Roy had thought), a pair of socks from Breda, a new phone from Fuery (probably made it himself too dammit) and a nice new fountain pen from Falman that had changeable ink cartons in it.

Then came Roy's present.

Ed gave his former superior's smirk a suspicious look before slowly unsticking the ends of the wrapping paper and pulling it back a bit to see the name of the box. It was a box of condoms. Then Ed started laughing. Full blown, gut busting laughter. The alchemist rocked in his seat as he wiped stray tears of mirth from his eyes.

Mustang had been expecting blushing, stuttering and a general angry tantrum typical of the older Elric.

Not this.

It made the Flame Alchemist wonder if the alcohol was finally getting to his old subordinate.

Edward finally calmed down enough to not sound like someone had given him drugs. The stray snort of humour still escaped the boy's mouth though as he tapped the box on the edge of the table for a second or two before standing up, piling his little gifts together (including the condoms) and started to walk away from the table. He stopped about a metre away, turning to them all.

"Thanks for the stuff, wasn't expecting much for my birthday anyways," Ed said. The corner of his mouth tipped up in a vicious smirk for a second. Then it was gone as he spun on his heel, making his way towards the door. His right hand waved for a second as he said loudly, "And thanks Mustang. You just saved me from having to buy more." Mustang was half tempted to run after the kid who had already closed the door behind him but found he was too shocked to move.

Equal looks of surprise were plastered on the rest of his team's faces minus Havoc and Hawkeye. Well, Havoc was snoring so he couldn't really anyway.

"Did that…? I just-what…" Mustang was flummoxed enough to completely stumble over his words.

"Indeed it did sir," Riza answered in a monotone. You would have to look close to see the amused tip of her mouth. "If you had paid more attention you would realise that Edward has been quite active with Miss Rockbell for quite some time now."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Sir, you practically asked for that one."

_thnks fr th mmrs ~ Fall Out Boy_

**Author's Note:**

> lol what is this humour you speak of


End file.
